Today I had a shower. By the time I emerged from the bathroom, both children had decided to dress up as zebras in drag, their costumes achieved by drawing stripes over their entire bodies with a black marker, and topping it off with some wildly colourful eye and face makeup also created with markers. The two zebras were found in the toilet ineffectually mopping with small face clothes at a few litres of urine which was covering almost every surface of the room. I really thought if you were old enough to make breakfast for the family and could read Hop on Pop, you could be trusted alone for ten minutes. Clearly I am deluded. First attempts at washing off the black marker have proved unsuccessful. I'm not looking forward to leaving the house with my life sized graffitied cabbage patch kid dolls. Time for another cup of tea.