Happy Australia Day!

We celebrated by the book - ate sausages, party pies and pavlova and relaxed at the beach.  What can I say?  Australia Day really is a classy holiday.

Thanks for all your encouraging comments after my dummy spit… I hope all your toilets and kitchen sponges are clean and orderly and we can all move forward from here.

Coooooeeee!!! Is there anybody out there???

Nothing turns me off a blog faster than when the creator starts harping on about the blogging process, commenters or stats.  It's a bit like peeking behind the curtain at a magic show and having all the illusions spoiled.  But peeps I've been blogging for almost a year and I think I'm having a mid-blog crisis.  

I was trawling the web and stumbled across a blog post discussing kitchen sponges.  Now I really am a firm believer that you can write about absolutely any topic and make it interesting as long as you approach it with a little flair.  But this post about sponges was completely (pardon the pun) dry - there was no irony, no wit, just a completely bland, long winded and for the most part poorly written instructional piece on how to keep your kitchen hygienic.  And there were 60 comments.  I'm lucky to even get 6 comments on a post.  I'm beginning to wonder if my next post should be about how I clean the toilet.

Anyone who tells you they just blog for themselves is lying.  I mean if it really was just for yourself you wouldn't put it up online would you?  You'd write a private diary and hide it under your mattress or at the back of the freezer.  You're writing a blog because you want other people to read it, and like it.  But here's the thing,  there are hundreds of thousands of other people also writing a blog who also want people to read it.  So even if your blog is amazing it's more than likely nobody will ever find it among the vast sea of other blogs. 

And here is where I'm at right now.  What is the point?  I'm basically a billboard in the middle of the desert blogging to no one.  The content could be life changing but if there is no one but a lone lizard to see it I may as well have kept it to myself.  If I'm honest about it, I want someone to come along and read my blog and be wowed and offer me a book deal, sponsorship, a freebie to review, some commission work, hell I'd even take a meaningless online blog award.  But chances of any of that happening are slim to none.  So perhaps I should just pop to the shops and buy myself a spiral bound journal because then it won't ever have to be faced with the depressing and glaring reality of '0 comments'.

P.S. I just read this back to myself and it sounds like a desperate plea for comments to bolster my fragile ego - uurk - please don't comment!  The desert billboard will likely return to normal posting tomorrow.  I'm off to eat a TimTam.

In which there are jazz hands and zucchini muffins...

I'm missing our weekly organic veggie box.  The coop is on holiday during January so we have had to fend for ourselves the last couple of weeks.  Initially it was a novelty.  We ate a bunch of takeout and played at being carnivores.  But the novelty has well and truly worn off and scurvy is a very real threat.  Minty has decided she will only eat vegetables if they are a mushroom or some kind of legume.  I decided it was time to take some drastic action and make some scarily healthy zucchini muffins.  Don't worry I haven't gone all Jessica Seinfeld on you, I told the children what was in them, but somehow all vegetables are more palatable in baked goods.  Everyone gave them the thumbs up, with Minty even coming back for seconds.  I think these might become a regular snack time treat at our house.  These don't have dairy but do have eggs so we can't clock them as vegan.  

A couple of quick recipe notes: we omitted the walnuts and used half canola oil and half pureed apple for the wet ingredients.

No one slept very well last night in the heat so everyone was pretty fried by this afternoon.  I decided to take it easy and we all watched Singin' in the Rain together.  The kids loved it and Turi even got his jazz hands going!  If ever there was a movie that was going to make you want to tap this has got to be it.  Minty donned her tutu and  spent the rest of the day dancing.

in which Turi is ambitious and we need to mow the lawn...

conversations with Minty

Minty: I want prunes

Me: sorry Minty we haven't got any - we need to go to the shops

Minty [sadly]: but I want prunes… you're just holding out on me

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While in a public toilet...

Minty: this is the women's toilet where women come to do wees and poos

Me [trying not to laugh]: yes it is the women's toilet

Minty: and this is the women's toilet paper… but I couldn't use this toilet because I'm not a woman

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Whilst carrying a small doll between her legs... 

Minty: look at my baby he's born

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Excerpt from the dictionary of Minty 

snapperdile = crocodile

In which we discuss floods, haircuts and baby Jesus...

Thanks for all your comments, emails, messages and phone calls about my last post.  To my untrained eye Turi appears to be the picture of health.  I tend to think he probably choked on a sticker or other small object which at some point during the incident was dislodged and swallowed.  It's also possible he cried so hard he stopped breathing, except that he wasn't actually crying very hard and I've seen him get much more worked up on previous occasions with no dramatic breath holding consequences.  I must say if it was breath holding that has to be the ultimate weapon in a negotiation (want another cookie, a turn on the swing, your own pony?  Sure have two so long as you don't cry and pass out!!)  Anyway, we've got a referral for an EEG and an appointment with a neurologist to rule out anything more sinister so I'm planning on putting it all to the back of my mind and trying not to worry about it.

Onto lighter matters…

Much to my horror Minty gave herself a haircut today.  She climbed up to the kitchen bench, found the kitchen scissors and fashioned herself a fringe.  She brought me the freshly trimmed hair, very excited and said, 'look mummy!'.  I exclaimed something to the effect of 'oh no your beautiful curls!!' at which point she collapsed on the floor in the foetal position and began growling like a tiger, devastated that her foray into hairdressing may not have been the grand success she had hoped for.

These photos are of this morning's art activity and were taken pre-haircut.  This is a fantastic kit Minty was given for Christmas in which you get to decorate your own lamp shade.  Minty drew a picture of baby Jesus and his mummy.  It is really interesting watching her drawing skills develop.  It is only recently that she has started drawing primitive faces with eyes, mouths and hair.  It's great to get a peak into her imaginings.  

Sadly I wasn't really paying attention when Minty started to draw and the lamp shade was upside down.  Now baby Jesus and Mary are forced to spend eternity standing on their heads.  

And before I sign off I'd like to draw your attention to the Queensland Flood Relief Auctions.  There are some amazing things up for grabs and it is such a great opportunity to support all those people whose lives have been devastated by the flood.  My picks for the auction are this amazing raffle over at The Red Thread, and this quilt.

in which my nightmares are played out...

Turi stopped breathing this morning.  I still don't know what happened.  The morning began like any other morning.  Turi woke up early as usual and ran smiling to the bathroom for a nappy change and then to the kitchen to ask for breakfast.  He ate two weetbix and then went to play in the lounge room.  He was his usual spritely self, laughing, running and full of energy.  He ran down the corridor to say good morning to his dad and Minty who were having a sleep in but the door was closed.  He was crying loudly and then the crying stopped.  He staggered into the lounge where I was standing and made a strange whimpering sound.  I knew instantly something wasn't right - it wasn't his usually loud and lusty cry and he is always so deliberate and sturdy on his feet.  As I picked him up he began to go limp and gradually stopped breathing.  His lips were blue and his eyes were fixed and lifeless.  I screamed and sobbed for help.  My husband started hitting his back, sure he was choking.  He tried to put his fingers in his mouth to prize out whatever was blocking his throat but his jaw was locked.  By now I was sobbing on the phone to the ambulance.  And then as suddenly as it began, it was over.  He started to cry loudly, and move a little.  He never coughed.  Nothing ever came out of his mouth in the way of a choking hazard.

During those everlasting two minutes where I thought he might die I didn't pray.  I guess maybe that means I'm an atheist after all.

The ambulance came, we went to hospital.  His heart was monitored, he was examined, he was watched for hours.  Nothing notable could be found.  The doctors suspect epilepsy.  There will be more tests and specialists but for now all we do is wait.  Wait and watch terrified it will happen again.

I can't begin to describe to you what it's like to hold the lifeless body of you child in your arms and really believe they might be dead and then that afternoon to be cleaning the kitchen and cooking dinner as though nothing has happened while the children play together in the lounge.  Every muscle in my body aches from the constant tension.  Every time Turi stumbles or doesn't move for a second I am convinced it is happening again.  I have no idea how long it is going to take for my terror to subside and complacency to resume.  I keep checking to see if he is dead or just asleep.  I don't think I will be able to sleep at all tonight and if I do I'm sure I will relive the nightmare of this morning.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to compulsively check that Turi is still breathing again.